The Twilight Review, Part 5

Part two of characterization. Friday, we’ll delve into the real meat of Twilight – Bella. Next week Tuesday I’ll start posting some short stories.


I think Edward is Spider-Man. Why? Let’s compare the two. Peter Parker is bitten by a radioactive spider, changing his genetic structure to enhance his physiology. He then develops muscles, but is probably pale because of all the time he spends out of the sunlight. Additionally, he likes this one girl, Mary Jane, but doesn’t want to get with her in case his heroics lead to her capture or death.

Edward, on the other hand, is bitten by a vampire, changing his genetic structure to enhance his physiology and mental capabilities. He then develops muscles, and is excessively pale, on a level comparable with albinos. Additionally, he likes this one girl, Mary Sue – I mean, Bella – but doesn’t want to get with her in case his nature leads to her capture or death.

Also, Bella’s first theory on how Edward got his “superpowers” is that he is Peter Parker.

The main difference between these two is that Pete goes around the city saving lives, fights devious supervillains, and eventually decides to date Mary Jane anyway.

Meanwhile, Edward hangs out with his family at a local high school, doesn’t want to be a monster, and has the option of turning his girlfriend into a vampire like himself. Seriously, that meme – Edward Cullen: could use time immortal to research cancer, goes to high school a billion times and seduces a 17 year old girl – rings rather poignantly.

Quite honestly though, he doesn’t quite “seduce” Bella, at least not intentionally (but more on that when we get to Miss Mary Sue later). I mean, how can you seduce anyone you incessantly tell is crazy, dumb, or dangerous?

Additionally, there are some confusing logistical scenes in this book, but none compared to Edward’s feelings for Bella. Essentially, he tells her that “I want to be friends with you, but you shouldn’t be friends with me”. What? I wasn’t aware friendship was a one-way relationship.

Edward seems to be largely guided by his emotions. I think this is supposed to go with the fact that he’s physically a perpetual teenager, but he’s about a hundred years old. He should have grown up somewhat in all that time (especially since he spends his days playing piano, listening to music, and learning new languages, although this latter one is never delved into at all). But no, he continues to drive recklessly and let his heart decide what to do when Bella is on the line.

Seriously. After James threatens Bella, she, Edward, Emmett, and Alice take off in the Jeep. Edward, able to see what James was thinking, obstinately insists the only way to save Bella is to run as fast as possible. How rational. Especially compared to Emmett’s plan to kill James (which is what happens anyway – and what Edward eventually resigns himself to). But I would think Edward would be the first to realize that the only way to beat him would be to fight him head on.

Aside from the creepiness of watching Bella while she sleeps (more on that later), he’s just a bad role model. After carrying Bella piggyback through a forest fast enough to make her sick, he later insists they do it again. In the meadow, he shows off his powers and abilities to her, basically telling her how weak she is compared to him. I thought that speech was the villain’s job. It’s like a soldier saying to his girlfriend, “You see this gun? I could kill you with it if I wanted to.” That’s not someone I would want to date, or even be friends with.

Part 6 here.


One thought on “The Twilight Review, Part 5

  1. Keri Peardon says:

    “In the meadow, he shows off his powers and abilities to her, basically telling her how weak she is compared to him. ”

    I think the appeal of that scene is that he’s dangerous–and some women find that thrilling. He’s something of a bad boy, not quite fitting in, a bit dangerous, driving the car very fast, being a bit wild, etc. But we eventually see that he’s actually quite safe. He’ll never wreck the car, he’ll kill to protect Bella, and he’ll never kill her–not even when he’s drinking her blood. Women are attracted to bad boys, but in the end, they want their bad boy to be a prince charming–a diamond in the rough.

    That scene didn’t bother me as much as the fact that Edward says he’s a perfect predator and that it’s easy for him to lure women in, and yet he and his siblings are ostracized at school for giving off a weird air. Which is it? Are people insanely attracted to them or are they naturally afraid? There were a number of times when the characters seemed to contradict themselves–and not just because they’re teenagers who don’t know what the hell they want out of life. To me, Stephanie Meyer just didn’t seem to have a firm idea of what her vampires were and weren’t.

    But I write vampire fiction, so odd details like that bother me more than it probably does other people.

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