A Memorable Heist

New story, hope you enjoy!

Kastamir sat on a log on the outskirts of a forest, by which passed a road, patiently looking south down the road. He had been sitting there for some time, and he was just considering continuing on when a figure appeared in the distance. The figure, a young male carrying a large backpack, approached him quickly, and soon hurried past him.

“Hello, friend!” called Kastamir. “Will you sit with me? Or may I join you for a time on your journey?”

“I think it would be best if you joined me,” replied the man, looking back over his shoulder toward the distant road. His face broke into a toothy grin.

Kastamir stood up, coming beside his new companion. “Very well. My name is Kastamir. What’s yours?”
“Me? I’m Gilderoy.”

“Good day, Gilderoy. What brings you out here, to these remote parts?”

“It’s funny you should ask,” Gilderoy replied, grinning from ear to ear. But just as soon as it formed, his smile faltered, and he checked their surroundings apprehensively. It was in a whisper that Kastamir’s companion conveyed his answer. “I’m on the run from the Wizard’s Guild for taking their entire treasury.”

Kastamir raised his eyebrows in utter surprise.

“How in the world did you manage to do that?” he exclaimed.

Gilderoy grinned again. “It’s easier than it would seem. The Wizard’s Guild are complete saps!

“Anyway, about a month ago I sneaked into the Guild tower as one of the many students that are always gathered there. That was the easiest part – integrating. Most people would just pass me by, like I was part of the scenery. But that was fine; I wasn’t there to learn – okay, I was, but only to learn how to take the gold from the famous Guild treasury, from which no thief has ever managed to steal.”

“So how did you manage to take the gold?” Kastamir asked.

“Well, as I searched around the tower, I learned that there are so many enchantments placed on the gold and on the treasury room itself that breaking in is completely foolish, and trying to teleport the gold out is impossible. In fact, there’s only one way that gold gets out of the treasury: grants. So I applied for a grant.”

“How big a grant? The entire treasury?”

“No, of course not! I just took a small portion, about a thousand gold pieces to start – not too little, so that it would take forever for me to take everything out, but just enough that I could get it without having to sit through interviews and inquiries with the High Council.”

“What do you mean by ‘to start’? Surely even a thousand gold would be enough – that’s a small fortune, right there!”

“Yes, but no one would remember that! Anyway, I did have one trick up my sleeve.”

“What was that?”

“I’m exceptionally good at memory spells. After I got the gold and stashed it away, I removed the memory of the Wizard who had given me the grant. And here’s the fun part – I asked him for a second one.” Gilderoy’s smile could not have been wider. Kastamir was beginning to fear that he’d rip his face in half this way.

“And then you wiped his memory again?”

“Precisely! And then again, and again, until I had most of the gold from the treasury.”

“How much did you take?”

“Two hundred and fifty thousand.”

“Two hundred – but what about the poor Wizard’s mind? That’s almost enough damage to turn her into a zombie!”

Gilderoy shrugged. “Not my problem.”

“So then how did you get it all out?”

“This.” The thief indicated his backpack. “Bottomless bag. Can hold tons and tons, but only weighs a couple pounds. Genius, huh?”

“Actually, I think it was very foolish,” said Kastamir, suddenly changing to a regally stern tone. He seized Gilderoy’s wrists and spoke a word of incantation. The wrists sprang together, as though magnetized. “You know, I’m surprised you didn’t recognize me.”

“What? But who –”

“I am Kastamir, Treasurer of the Wizard’s Guild, here to collect what was stolen from us. You’re under arrest, and you will pay quite dearly for this trespass.”

“No! What are you going to do?” Gilderoy asked anxiously.

“Give you an appropriate form.”

With just another word from the Treasurer, Gilderoy vanished, in his place his bag, his clothes, and a weasel scurrying off into the forest.


2 thoughts on “A Memorable Heist

  1. Rob says:

    Does this count as fan-fiction? And why on earth did you let Lockhart out into the forest? I would’ve kept him in a cage, and hung it inside the Guild Tower as a warning.
    This was quite funny!
    {Insert obligatory parental exhortation to complete scholarships forms and job applications}

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